Charles
A. Buckman
elevator systems consultant
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I have recently become acquainted with a Canadian elevator man name of John B. Gow through this site. I've been impressed with his homespun philosophy and terrific sense of humor. I'm therefore devoting this page to some of his wit. I plan to update every couple of days. With a little luck he might also supply one of his famous recipes occasionally. Hit my guestbook and tell me what you think!
3/28/00
Did You Know?
 | Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. | ||||||||
| The city with the most Rolls Royce's per capita is Hong Kong | ||||||||
| The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska | ||||||||
| Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% | ||||||||
| Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% | ||||||||
| Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400 | ||||||||
| Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000. | ||||||||
| Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. | ||||||||
| The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910. | ||||||||
| The youngest pope was 11 years old. | ||||||||
| The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments | ||||||||
| Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
| ||||||||
| 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 | ||||||||
| The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. | ||||||||
| The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the
|
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
Q. What separates "60 Minutes," on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular
boatname requested?
A. Obsession
Q. If you were to spell out the words for the numbers, how far would you
have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
A. Honey
Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the
year.
A. Father's Day
Q. What activity do 40% of all people at a party do?
A. Snoop in the host's medicine cabinet.
3/27/00
Subject: The Fork
There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three
months to live. So as she was getting her things in order, she contacted her pastor and
had him come to her house to discuss
certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the
service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
The woman also requested to be buried with her favorite bible.
Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly
remembered something very important to her.
"There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "This is very
important," the woman continued, "I want to be buried with a fork in my right
hand."
The pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say.
The woman explained, "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck
dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared,
someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your
fork'. It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like
velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want
them to wonder 'What's with the fork?'. Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork...
the best is yet to come".
The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman goodbye.
He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But
he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She knew that
something better was coming.
At the funeral, people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress
she was wearing and her favorite Bible and the fork place in her right hand. Over and
over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he
smiled.
During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the
woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it
symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the
fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it
either. He was right.
So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you, oh so gently, that the
best is yet to come...
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts
to us.
3/23/00
Comprehending Engineers
For all the engineers out there, and those who know them and love them
anyway.
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful
woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with
an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate
with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Hope you enjoyed, have a great day!
[ Home ] [ Sidebar ] [ Bona Fides ] [ Codes ] [ Contents ] [ Curiculum Vitae ] [ Disabled Equip ] [ Elevator Illustrations ] [ Escalator Illustrations ] [ FAQs ] [ Fees ] [ History ] [ Links ] [ References ] [ Services ] [ The Shanty ]
